Back to Work! (late upload)

So this is kind of a late post.  I had written it a while back, but never got around to uploading it.  So maybe think of it as a reflection back to when I went home instead of an immediate reaction post?

It really does feel like my two weeks back home passed by in a blur (and if I was perfectly honest there were maybe one or two small things that I could have done without too).  It also felt a little weird to be honest.  It was kind of strange being in my room left almost the same way I left it, but at the same time being there as a guest.  I did miss being home, and it was really nice seeing everyone again.  LOL I even missed my shadow following me around (my cat Tygra was in my lap at almost every opportunity, which I think was like her way of saying she missed me).  A small part of me feels like time was wasted while we stayed at my uncle’s house.  Whenever we go visit family for an extended period of time it kinda feels like that though.  I think it’s since I don’t have the freedom to go and come when I please, and am usually bound by what my parents have planned to spend time with my family.  Then add to that probably the worst case of jet-lag ever!  I felt so sleepy during the day at around 3, and then I was up and ready to go in the middle of the night.  I think I would have liked more time to just hang out with my sisters and friends, or just go to the movies or something with my mom and dad, but sadly time was limited.  I’m committed to staying for another year (I feel almost like I must, I feel like there is still things I want to do here while I’m in Japan), but at the same time another small part of me wondered if I want to stay longer than that.  I felt myself questioning a little if I wanted to return after my 2 years right away or if I wanted to stay in Japan a little more…

The rest of the week at work after I got back was pretty easy.  LOL we had a lot of running around with elementary kids the first two days, and then a fairly easy day on Friday.  Now I’m at the beginning of my second week back in Japan (though I wasn’t actually in my apartment I was actually in Japan starting last Monday).  We had a holiday on Monday, so today is my first day going back to the schools.  As if to point out just how different a place I’m living in right now compared to where I come from, it was actually snowing this morning!  As I drove to school I got to see beautiful big white snowflakes lazily drift to the ground (and for whatever reason it wasn’t cold enough to stick or something so it melted on contact), and it continued that way for about an hour or two.  I think it’ll be nice to get back into the swing of things though.  Going to classes and sitting at my desk figuring out what I’m going to do for the rest of the week.   If there was one thing I’d change…. I’d love to have a little more free time during holidays.  I can easily save up money, but at times I feel like I really don’t have much opportunity to go vacation around Japan like I’d want to.  I want to be able to plan a trip out to Osaka, maybe re-visit Nara, or find some random spot in Japan to go visit.  The next long break I can think of that I MIGHT have would be at the end of the school year.  For Japan it is soon, the middle to end of March (can you believe it is just a few months away??), but what I’m unsure of at the moment is how much of that will I actually get off?  I have a feeling I’ll be headed back to the BOE between years, though it would be awesome if we got a little bit of time in there somewhere for vacation.  I kind of find it unlikely though, so I have a funny feeling that my next extended vacation will be Golden Week when my parents come to visit me. 

Sorry, but I think I’m going to get a little deep here…  I feel like there are 2 sides of me against one another at the moment.

On the one hand, I love living here!  Getting to be my own person, and going on adventures through Japan!  It’s easy to do since I’m single, and while I miss my family, I don’t have a boyfriend or husband to consider.  (lol speaking of being on my own, I really should buckle down and just get my housework done.  I’ve gotten really lazy about letting the apartment go crazy and just living in it…)  I also love the work I’m doing!  I love getting to go from one school to the next, and teaching these kids about English and my life in America. The only downside being that I don’t really get the same vacation time I would if I was teaching back home, since I’m actually an employee of the Board of Education for the town if school is not in session then I report to the base office that day.  That’s not to say that it’s hard work either though.  To be honest I don’t really have anything to do there, so unless something gets put on my schedule I’m usually just sitting at my desk studying Japanese or just kinda killing time. 

Then there’s the other side.  The part of me that realizes I have a job, but that it’s also only a temporary one.  This part of me is eager to settle down and start a family, and find a more permanent job.  As much as I love being here, it’s the side of me that wants to plan vacations with friends and family during the summer or other holidays.  The part of me that feels I should already be in a relationship at least and headed toward maybe marriage and a family of my own.  And it’s not because I feel like some sort of society pressure to be in the “norm” for my age, but rather it feels like something inside me that I want.  I guess it’s that maternal instinct to want to have kids of my own, and care for them with my husband.  Since I helped raised two of my little cousins I’ve felt that kind of motherly bond with them, and it’s almost like it kickstarted a desire to have it for my own.  And it’s not just kids, but at times there is also the feeling of wanting to share my life with someone else (and hopefully they don’t mind a couple of cats too since I can’t imagine leaving Tygra alone while I’m at work).  To have that partner and friend to come home to and share our day with each other.  LOL dare I say it, but I feel a little like a kid sometimes when what I want to be is an adult!  Sure there is jobs, bills, and taxes to pay; along with other various responsibilities, but I feel like I’m ready to start doing it!  Sometimes I find myself daydreaming about what it would be like in my own home.  Talking with my mom and sisters to figure out whose house we will be celebrating the holiday, or planning get togethers at my house just for the fun of it.  It’s nice to imagine at times coming home to Tygra missing me while I was at work, getting comfortable, making something for dinner (or at times just re-heating leftovers), and just watching a movie or some TV with that special someone.  I can even add at times playing with children and getting them ready for the next day.  Now, I’m not completely naïve, and I know it’s not going to be all sunshine and rainbows, with the picture perfect home, but even that little bit of crazy will be welcome I think.  Because at the end of the day I’ll get to sit there and look at where life has brought me, and give thanks for it.

Again, sorry for the kind of off topic, deep internal meditating, but I think I knew I just needed to type it out for a bit.

To Re-contract or Not To Re-contract

That’s the big question everyone here has been faced with here.  Some were asked earlier, but around the end of the calendar year is the time when all JETs are approached by their CO (contracting organization), and asked if they would like to renew their contract for the next year.  Seems really early right (for most of us we have been here for only a few months)?  Here’s the breakdown though.

On the Japan side of things, they’re going to start filling out budgets for the next year, and part of that would be fitting in the salary for the JET.  So, the earlier they know the better for them.  It gives them the opportunity to get a head start on the paperwork they would need to fill out.  It also lets them know if they are going to need a salary for a new JET or for a renewing JET (you get a slight raise for each year you renew).

The US (home country) side of things is a completely different matter.  It is around the same time that they will be opening the application process for the next wave of JETs.  It seems really early, but when you think about it, you’re filling out a job application that won’t actually start until the following summer.  So, here is what happens on our side that applying JETs don’t know about.  We have 2 options, “No, I’m done and would like to go home” or “Yes!  I want to stay for another year!”  If you want to stay you get another bonus question.  Do you want to stay in the same place, or would you like to put in for a transfer.  Yes, you don’t have to stay in the same place they sent you if you don’t want to.  So after CLAIR gets the list of how many openings they will have for the next school year, we JETs that are staying and would like to move would get the chance to see where is open to move to (this is my guess at least, as I am planning to stay where I am, I don’t know what would have happened if I asked to move).  Once the tallies of who is returning, who is staying, and who is moving is finished, CLAIR will have a final list of where they have openings to send new JETs to.  I would also assume this would include any openings for locations that may have gained an ALT or CIR position as well.  I think this is why so many people make it to the interview process, but so few would get hired.  They won’t know until that time how many positions they will have to fill, so they will interview more than they need.  Harsh, but makes sense right?

 

So how do you know if you want to stay or not?

For me the answer was quite simple.  I went into this job knowing right off the bat that I wanted to stay for more than a year.  I was also fortunate that I lucked out with such friendly co-workers here.  I’ve heard stories at our Prefecture conference about JETs that get frustrated that their JTE (Japanese Teacher of English) don’t get along with them well when it comes to teaching.  There are many teachers that get stuck in the traditional teaching mindset, and are set to teach only what is written in the book.  I lucked out in that most of my JTEs here see me as the English expert, and often ask for my opinion on what is being taught.  They will tell the students that the textbook teaches one thing, but according to Veronica-sensei it is more common to say something else instead.

Being in a bad situation shouldn’t be the reason you say no though.  Keep in mind that unless you feel completely miserable in your work situation, Japanese teachers will often change schools after so many years teaching there, and you can also request to move and hope for a better situation too.  You do have to also keep in mind though, that this wouldn’t be a guarantee for a better situation.  There are also some other things to consider along with this that affect your decision to stay or not.

What is my opinion for reasons not to re-contract?

First and foremost, you feel like you just don’t belong at ALL.  If the culture is just completely weird, or something you feel you will just never get used to then don’t try to force yourself to!  It’s completely OK!  There is nothing wrong in admitting that the situation is something you can’t handle, in fact I would consider it healthy!  Living in another country is an awesome opportunity, and you’ve had your experience with it, but it is by no means easy.  Now, on the other hand, don’t go home just because you miss being able to drive down the road to grab your favorite fast food joint.  Part of living in a new country is realizing that it’s going to be different from what you are used to back home.  If the thought of being away from that, and getting to know life in a new culture is just not for you, then that’s perfectly ok!

You don’t like the work.  Plain and simple.  Now, this doesn’t mean in regards to your co-workers.  I mean, “I really don’t like being around all these little kids and having to go over the same kind of stuff every day.”  There can be quite a bit of repetition in this job.  Especially in Elementary school, where the schools you visit will be at different levels and places in the text book.  If you find that the work you are doing is not appealing then, again, don’t force yourself to do it.  Going back to the teacher situation.  What if you love being here, love learning the culture, still feel like you have things you haven’t accomplished yet, but the work environment is horrible?  Then that will take some serious consideration.  But remember too, you’re not alone!  There is a whole bunch of support groups for you to turn to.  Your PA (Prefecture Advisor) is always there to give you advice on this kind of thing, there is a Peer Support hotline you can call just to vent, and of course your fellow JETs as well!  There are many people you can turn to for advice on your situation.  After getting feedback, thinking it over, and feeling like the work situation still just isn’t worth it then you’ll have found your answer.

You feel like you didn’t earn enough money yet to justify the job.  This should not be a factor at all.  Yes, the money starts off on the small side, and will get slightly bigger the longer you stay, but this should not be the only reason you want to.  Especially if you don’t like the situation you are in at work or in general.

The only one that wants you to stay is everyone else.  If your friends, family, and co-workers are all telling you that you should stay, but you really just don’t feel like you fit in then don’t!  No matter how sad your co-workers will be to see you go, or how much your friends and family get on your case about wishing they had this opportunity, that shouldn’t be the reason you stay.  Like with any other job, if you don’t feel you can give it your best, if this really just isn’t for you, then don’t force yourself!  Remember, it’s not your friends, family, or co-workers that are doing this job, it’s you.  Your own health and sense of mind should come first.  The only person you should be staying for is yourself.  If you feel like your work here has reached its end then by all means, it is ok to say you are done.

 

The long and short of it all is simply that it is a decision that you should spend time considering.  I may sound like a broken record, but that is how important this point is: Don’t force yourself to stay if you don’t feel like you should!  Take some time to consider the situation from various angles.  Don’t be afraid to ask others for advice, but don’t let their opinion be the only one that counts.  Be sure that this is something you want to do, and that will make you happy!